Shards of Memory:
The Meyers’ trip to Donaueschigen, Germany
A note: I was typing quickly and mistyped shard for “shared” as I was describing our shared family. On second thought — I am not sure that “shard” was not exactly what I was supposed to type.
The shards of memory.
Since I lost my Mom so young and because my mom, Dory Davidson left Germany so young, I feel my memories are like broken pieces of glass. Once, long ago, the shards completed a beautiful piece — my mother . They once made sense — as a cohesive whole.
I once knew (or thought I knew) how they fit together.
Now, and especially here, I realize all my memories are merely fragments. The best I can do is pick up a piece here or there and make sense of that piece. A complete glass is so out of reach.
Here are some fragments — shards — of the trip. We’ll continue updating throughout the trip.
Monday August 16, 2021 (Well, just after Midnight. So technically Tuesday.)
A very long trip
It is the middle of the night and we are all awake — collectively suffering from jet lag. I CANNOT BELIEVE I am writing this but we are in Donaueschigen, Germany.
The trip was long. This is true in many aspects. It is true in that we left our home yesterday at 2pm and arrived in Germany at 9am the next day (this also takes into account a time change) but… for me.. the trip was far longer than that. 50 years to be exact.
Because it is 230am and I am thankfully very tired, I cannot write much. But I do want to write, at least some, every day.
Many, many of you have heard what brought us here… and the dramatic twists and the turns that took place before we entered the plane.
In a very tired nutshell,
I grew up having “no” family — this is not much of an exaggeration and through this trip and this adventure (which is about 7 years in the making) I met much of the family that I once had that has since perished — and have been “adopted” by countless others.
I want to keep writing (as my eyes are still open) but not sure how I begin to encapsulate that here. I. am. I. am. here. I suppose I need to end today’s opening tale with a plea to all to just (really) allow miracles to take place. I am not talking the walking on water kind. Be open to people reaching out. Ask for help. Lean into the sad. Had I not done all these things (not because I read them in a book — just because they felt right) none of us would be here. And here we are.
So, we all MUST get some sleep. At one point in this writing all of us were awake. More to come but wow. — I wish there was a word with more depth than simply calling this an adventure. That does not begin to cut it. It is so, so, so much more.
With endless gratitude to our “miracles” Martina and Werner. Whom not only planned this entire trip but also whom picked us up at the airport, secured for us the most amazing apartment* and made us the most lovely dinner in her whimsical home on our first night in DONAUESCHIGEN**.
Miracles to all.
Julie
* Martina kept calling this an apartment. It’s a house! We are staying in a stunning and beautiful house that’s’ four stories! It’s filled to the brim with fresh cut flowers, gluten free food and is right in the center of the adorable and sweet town
**. As I mentioned (and hope I can remember all the twists and turns) this story is really 50 years in the making. Once, on a trip to the Holocaust Museum in DC — there was a gruff librarian and it was he whom you asked about your town. Your relatives. I went up and shared the town name — Donaueschigen. I knew exactly one word in German and that was it.
“Ya got the town name wrong.” He said. “I have done this work for 50 years and I know all the towns — you’re mistaken.” Yeah, but I wasn’t and I was peeved. We stood at a bit of an impasse and then he got out a list and again with the scoff — “Yeah, it was only about four families. And I think he followed that with a Pfft.”
But it wasn’t only four families (or statistically he was not far off.). But one of those families was MY family. And every family has a story. And this was ours
And here we are adding to the story — the Meyers in Donaueschigen.
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
To better understand my post today — a bit of history is helpful.
OUR LINEAGE
· Dylan and Aliya are Jon and Julie’s daughters.
· Julie’s mother is Dory Davidson (nee Doris Lindner)
· Doris and her parents — Max and Melitta Lindner escaped from Donaueschigen
· Max’s mother is Henriette Lindner*. Henriette died in Gurs. Gurs was considered an “intermediate” concentration camp — en route to the death camps. And yet, many (like my great-grandmother) perished there.
THIS MORNING
We began the day with a walking tour of Donaueschigen. I walked the streets that my mother, my grandparents and generations of my family walked before me.
There were power in those footsteps.
We walked by my grandparents’ store. We walked by where my family lived. We walked by where my grandfather went to school.
And I could write for years — and never find the right words. Because having lost so much family in the Holocaust — I lost so many memories too.
Then, after losing my mom when I was young — meant a full stop to the stories. Full. Stop. Until today. Until this moment in time.
After the walking tour in Donaueschigen, we went to the town of Galingen. As Donaueschigen had too small a Jewish population for its own synagogue — Jews from Donaueschigen commemorated all important milestones in the bustling close Jewish town of Galingen.
Our family who are In the Jewish Cemetery in Galingen
Henriette and Gustav’s parents (My great-great-grandparents) were Heinrich Mayer Weil and Therese Bollag. They are in Galingen.
Heinrich’s parents (my great-great-great-grandparents) Mayer Hirz Weil and Fanny Reclich are both buried there as well.
Mayer Hirz Weil’s father Hirz Weil (my great-great-great-great-grandfather.)
These names — these people — these are just my direct lineage. In Galingen, there are also siblings (uncles, aunts, cousins etc).
This information was all provided by my cousin David Muller. His knowledge of our shared family has transformed my life in many ways.
* Henriette’s brother was Gustav. David’s great grandfather.
A bit more about Galingen
To understand Galingen better — and to better understand the history and the legacy of the Holocaust — Galingen once had a majority of Jewish residents. Today — it has… none.
Not a one.
What Galingen does have though — is a beautiful Jewish museum with a director Joachim Klose. Joachim (like so many other citizens of Germany — spends his days, his energies and his free time — to making sure the stories remain and remain told with no whitewashing. The stories burn. They are cruel and they are unflinching — and they must be told.
Joachim has dedicated his life to the museum and to sharing the stories of Jewish life in Galingen.
How can I find words to share my gratitude in a few sentences for a man who has given his life to sharing the stories of my ancestors and countless others? Prior to our familly’s arrival, Joachim had fully researched our family and shared exactly where we could find the stories of all.
Schadenfreude — November 10, 1938
Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʁɔʏ̯də] (listen); lit. ‘harm-joy’) is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.
When touring Galingen — we heard a cruel example of Schadefreude that I don’t believe we’ll ever forget.
When the Nazis decided that the synagogue in Galingen would be destroyed — it was not simply enough to bomb the building out of existence nor simply set the place ablaze. Rather, the entire congregation was gathered, assembled and made to face the building. When everyone was present, the building was bombed. This however, was not cruel enough. The final act was when one of the Nazis found an “OPEN/CLOSED” sign that the synagogue used to alert congregants — and as the building blazed — they rehung the sign — so that it permanently read “CLOSED.”
“Until its destruction on November 10, 1938, the Gailingen synagogue was the central point of reference for religious, cultural and public life in the Gailingen Jewish community for more than 100 years.” ‘’ http://www.jm-gailingen.de/?p=313
Our amazing hosts (for everything we do here!) and dinner.
Not a single part of ANY of this would have been possible with Martina and Werner.
Without Martina and Werner — we would not be here. But it’s far, far, far more than that.
Martina’s home is one of whimsy and delight. Martina and Werner cannot understand how their home — Donaueschigen can be both so beautiful — and yet — part of something so grotesquely ugly.
With everything Martina has planned for us — and continues to share — it is clear she is not afraid to confront the past, and our time here is a gift not only to me — but to Dylan and Aliya — and their children and their children too.
Martina is writing history. Right now. Because of her boundless love, Dylan and Aliya will always know and remember Donaueschigen far differently from me. Any memories I had for the first half century of my life are similar to the very few black and white photos that remain. The memories — like the photos — are disintegrating, they are broken, fuzzy, and difficult to decipher.
Therefore, this trip is a gift not only to Jon the girls and me — but also to the generations that will come after– who will now know Donaueschigen from the kindness and love being showered on us every minute.
UNTIL TOMORROW
Writing this feels like trying to capture all the water shooting from a fire hose. I want to convey all the sights, the sounds, the essence and know I cannot. If my writing allows me to even hold a few drops for us to savor later — I will be so very grateful.
With gratitude too big to share.
Julie
The following are two important sections (and like holding a handful of sand — time is slipping away from me capturing everything — but I am leaving the section headers below — in hopes we can elaborat on them.)
*. My ignorance and the education I received here: The written word and when a donor said no and why.
*. The sights, tastes, the smells, the beauty.
Day three
It seems nearly impossible for every day to be more awe-inspiring, more breath taking than the day that precedes it — and yet — it is.
Before bed last night, I asked Jon, Dylan and Aliya for three adjectives to describe yesterday — and here are their responses.
The records
Martina (our host) has spent much of the last ten years documenting my family and the fate of the four other Jewish families whom were deported from Donaueschigen.
Martina and I spent some time yesterday sobbing and reading notes from my Mom. In the letters, my mom was so eloquent and yet — I cannot find the words to describe the letters.
In a nutshell, time and again, my mother expressed her love for Donaueschigen and for GERMANY and said it was SOME people who lost their way — not all. She continued, “people make bad choices but some do not — she stressed in letter after letter that she would always feel a longing and connection to her home.
For my family — the Meyers — the deaths are further removed. But MY MOM — this was her existence. This is what the losses were…. (from what I know.)
Dory’s paternal grandmother
Dory’s maternal grandparents
Every one of Dory’s maternal aunts, uncles and cousins
And yet, and yet, Dory expressed love. She expressed understanding. How can I find the words to express this? I am at a loss.
The gala
And then, last night, we the “shards” were honored.
Jon
Wow.
Fascinating.
Incredible.
Dylan
Meaningful
Supportive.
Joyful.
Aliya
Lovely.
Sweet.
Kind.
Unique.
(Allie needed four words — totally fine!)
While I gave the adjective assignment, I did not complete it… because all of my family’s words captured the essence of yesterday — and as I said when the town of Donaueschigen ALL CAME OUT to honor us in a stunning gala — there are no words — in either German or in English that can capture how we felt last night or how we are feeling being here.
As you can imagine… there is so. much. more.
The beautiful resident who framed receipts from my great grandfather’s store — and gave them to us.
The grandson of my grandfather’s best friend sharing photos and tales of how they tried to help my poor family
The American interpreter and others who made us feel as if we had done something extraordinary.
The Mayor (Erik Pauly) whom stayed right by our side for six hours and spoke lovingly about making amends and moving forward — to a packed house of residents wanting to take part in this night.
Day four — Thursday, August 19
A seemingly impossible task
We know that if we don’t take the time to record this trip — with photos and videos — we won’t “have it” for the future. Yet, we want to embrace and hold on to every memory and be present in every way — so the writing is a challenge and one we are trying to embrace every day so we can hold the beauty and awe of this trip in some way.
Magical Jews
When analyzing African Americans on film, one offensive trope is that of the “magical negro.” (If you’re reading our blog, it happens to be a fascinating concept —in a nutshell — because African Americans are so underrepresented in film — sometimes they need to do ALL the heavy lifting and are responsible for far more greatness in the film than all of the other characters. See below from Wikipedia.
“In the cinema of the United States, the Magical Negro is a supporting stock character who comes to the aid of white protagonists in a film.[1] Magical Negro characters, who often possess special insight or mystical powers, have long been a tradition in American fiction.[2]. Critics use the word “Negro” because it is considered archaic, and usually offensive, in modern English. This underlines their message that a “magical black character” who goes around selflessly helping white people is a throwback to stereotypes such as the “Sambo” or “noble savage”.[2]
To this lexicon, I can bring the magical jews. A few people have told me not that — it’s nice to meet me… but rather… YOU ARE AMAZING! Did I know I am the chosen people? Did I know that Bob Dylan was Jewish? Did I know how talented “we are…”
Here, there are just no Jews left. In that way, the Holocaust succeeded. There are no synagogues standing.
the lives of the Jews are just pictures. We are not real. We are tropes. Hope this little clan of “magical Jews” can live up to the stereotype. Hope they’re not too disappointed.
Night of Broken Glass
Beer steins and belly laughs. hangman. MadLibs
Park/Mini Golf walk —
great ice creamPark/Mini Golf walk —
great ice cream
“Wasser ohne Kohlensäure”
Walking into memories — a visit to my mother’s home and business
Day Five — Friday, August 20
Lake Constance
Day Six — Saturday, August 21
So so so hard to keep up!
We walked yesterday in the stunningly beautiful black forest.
Here is the presentation we wrote in honor of Martina and Werner and our time in Donaueschigen. We presented Martina the menorah above and we spoke to about a dozen officials from Donaueschigen over dinner — expressing our thanks.
Mending Broken Glass
This year: Hanukkah: November 28 — December 6, 2021
Julie
It is said that glass that has been broken into pieces or has cracks larger than an inch are pretty much beyond repair.
Dylan
But this weekend you proved that not to be. You taught us all about Kristallnacht but then you magically transformed a night of broken glass into the most beautiful of prisms. Into a stunning work of art.
Julie
Donaueschigen, You did the impossible. You took something shattered and made it whole again.
Dylan
Your tribute this week remembered not only those who perished — like my great great grandmother Henriette Lindner and my great grandmother Melitta’s entire family — but at the same time — you honored people like Martina and Werner who work tirelessly to nurture hope and promote tolerance in our shared world. That is quite a feat.
Julie
By inviting us here. You did the impossible. Because of you, because of your actions — we can better understand the possibility and power of the choices available to us today
Dylan
The Meyers will leave Donaueshigen not only with a sense of gratitude and love for the city and all of you — but also with a goal to do more for others — to realize the opportunities afforded to us and we will make sure we do more for those whom are not as fortunate as we are.
Julie
And while we are, sadly, leaving Donaueschigen — we want to remain connected forever — after all — it’s our forever home too.
Dylan
Martina and Werner, will you please join us up here?
Julie
Martina, this is a present from us all. This is a reminder of the glass you made whole again.
Dylan
And there’s more. (Wait for her to open)
Julie
We want to share with you a little bit about Hanukkah and the menorah we’re giving to you.
Dylan
When Hanukkah falls, — in the winter — the sun is most hidden, however, the holiday of Hanukkah celebrates the rays of hope and light.
And this is the shamash. (Dylan points) This will be where the candle goes that will light all the others.
On Chanukah when we use one flame to light another, and then the glow is not halved, but rather, the light is multiplied.”
And Martina, As Hanukkah teaches, one should not curse the darkness but rather one should light a candle — which is what you do every day.
Martina, you are the shamash.
Julie
And Martina, you have proven that all the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”
Dylan
This specific menorah is special in other ways too. The funds we donated for the menorah actually provide a living Jewish legacy, to our children and grandchildren. The funds wil be used to provide resources for understanding the past and inspiring a bright future.
Julie
Martina, We bought three “identical” menorahs. Dylan and Aliya each received the same “identical” menorah (no two are exactly alike) and so every hanukkah, you will be together — no matter how far apart you are.
Dylan and Aliya.
Martina, you are the shamash. You are the light that lights all others.
With love and gratitude. Julie Dylan Jon and Aliya.
“This trip was neither Business nor Pleasure…. It was Sadness and Awe.”
Saturday, August 21
We went to the adorable town where Werner was from.
We learned the funny and fabulous history of the town who tried hard to give their prince a salute with canons… but alas… set them off a few times incorrectly so when the prince finally arrived — they only could yell a bit…
It’s now used as a term to describe something that really really ends up badly
Complete with castles — hiking — and more “interesting” playgrounds.
THE PLAY?grounds?
The playgrounds are clearly meant to raise strong German children! In US in a labyrinth playground, fabric might hit you in the face if you run the wrong way — not here — you’re going to be hit by a giant tree (yeah, not kidding) and not the leaves either — rows of swinging bark awaited the children. “Have fun kids, don’t get a concussion.”
The labyrinths are not the only challenges! The seesaw was what 8 feet? 9 feet long? You better hope your fellow teeter totter did not let you fall the full way — you were in for a bump if so!
There were a couple bruises (how could there not be?) but fun was had. And playgrounds were plentiful!
The castle and the stories were amazing.
Sunday, August 22nd
We stayed and played in Lake Constance today. It was a train ride but as always, we needed to do almost nothing except what we were told — and magical unfolded all around us. Martina/Werner planned for every last thing.
One of the many? Things Martina did this day was arrange daughter(s) to join the day so the girls would have a playmate… she truly thought of everything! She had also invited them to our celebration. In the end, the first two girls could not join — but wonderful Klara could — and the girls loved her… she was hard not to love… so we all had a lovely day among the beautiful sites.
Monday, August 23rd
On the last morning, we changed the Swiss Francs (yay!) and finally found a boat load of Donaueschigen swag! Who knew? Thus the purchases are but one culprit in the heavy suitcases! I hope my breakable swag stays in one piece. \
Left Donaueschigen (I hope not for ever…. But for this trip.)
Left our beautiful house, the town, Hengstler Café, our friends including Heike, the BurgerMeister, Klara and her dad Nico, Mark, Peter and other new friends whom we wished we could stay with much, much longer.
Traveled to the cutest town ever. Where we got to stay for two nights.
In Wurzberg
Met Anna (Martina’s daughter and her partner Bernhard (yup. Another Bernhard) for dinner.
FOOD, FITNESS AND FRIENDS
FOOD
Honestly, I was (and am) super over the heavy potatoes, schnitzel, cordon bleu and beef at every meal. So few vegetables and I won’t really miss (at all) the German food. Having said that, we traveled and traveled to a “great restaurant” on Monday night. I might be missing something — but it tasted the same as all the other places ;)
FITNESS
Fitness, and respecting the planet is not a fad. It’s just life. There are (at least in the small towns that we were in) not a whole of lot of “major” roads… what there were were bicyclists, and pedestrians everywhere. It was not a fad or cute to pop on your electric or manual bike — it’s just how everyone got around.
FRIENDS
Martina/Werner of course did every little thing for us. The only way to describe the adorable town we stayed is to tell you it felt like we were living inside a fairytale. Our hotel was on a cobblestone street, a charming wine bar was right across the street and croissants, eggs and german marmalade awaiting us each morning for breakfast.
MELITTA’s SIBLINGS AND HER PARENTS’ SIBLINGS
I did not know (how could I if it were not shared!) but my Oma had a TON of siblings — and her parents did too!
I spent the long car ride researching and researching. I would find another relative (thank you Ancestry and Geni and websites like this.) only to find Auschwitz, Bergen- Belsen, etc. etc. next to the name.
We grew up with “some” relatives — but they were few and far between — and as I have gotten into ancestry, I have learned, pretty much, that every single one is related to my grandfather — Max — and from the Donaueschigen side of the family.
We did see- on occasion Luci and Richard Markowitz — and their kids. I believe they were the ONLY family that we knew — from my grandmother’s side — that survived. I was able to write Luci from Germany (and her kids too — but no reply there!) and that connection was nice too!
Tuesday August 24 — URSPRINGEN
As an FYI, this trip… our trip… was all about Donaueschigen…. I told Martina (or asked) if Urspringen was close — and what I was to learn yesterday is that she connected with the entire community there — and created this entire magical day around my one request. Urspringen was/is a good two hours from Donaueschigen.
It’s about 4:14pm now. And we do have a couple hours more on this train — and I can FINALLY catch up on my writing. I want to say I have almost been actively avoiding writing about yesterday as it was truly one of the most amazing days of my life and so very hard to capture in words. My breath was literally taken away one time after another after another.
JEWISH CEMETERY
The day began with “another Martina.” A gentleman who has spent his entire life analyzing/studying and learning about the Jewish population — this time — of my grandmother’s hometown — Urspringen. There were actually two “Martinas” who welcomed us at the cemetery, presented us with our family tree — going back 6 generations?!?!?!?! And then walked us through the cemetery. Absolutely speechless. *
We saw Melitta’s parents — and their parents too (I will try to find time to go through OTHER photos. It was so much to take in — especially when everything was one surprise after another.)
* And an important note… if someone had ever had asked me WHAT I would like to do — where I would like to visit… I never would have said Urspringen, Germany… and IF we had gone to Urspringen without Martina we would have not really “seen” anything. She made it all happen! It was extraordinary.
LUNCH
After the cemetery, Martina/Werner drove us to a small (adorable!!) town where we had a quick lunch and then it was off to Urspringen.
URSPRINGEN
MELITTA’S HOMES AND RELATIVES HOMES
Wow. Wow. Wow. We started with Melitta’s house! It still stands. The town — the Jewish elements — including my family’s homes — are basically untouched. They (the keepers of the Jewish legacy in town) were stating names so fast and furiously — that it was hard to keep up. They have been planning and planning for my visit — saying I was taken aback was and is the understatement of the century.
THE SYNAGOGUE. The. Synagogue.
The synagogue is in such a shape that you could have services there. It was amazing.
THE DOORS
The synagogue doors detail the last train journey of the last deported. It is carved in metal — designed by an artist — and shows the last and devastating journey of the remaining Jews.
THE LOWER LEVEL —
The walls bleed history.
When you first walk in — you are struck by basically everything. The walls that surround the synagogue are black cards.
Each one has one name.
In white.
There’s the name.
The age.
The date of the deported.
I sobbed when reading my family’s names on the wall.
Justin Adler (my grandmother’s brother.)
Lina Adler (his wife. — My mom’s aunt)
Manfred Adler (his daughter.- my mom’s first cousin)*
______ Adler (their son — my mom’s first cousin)*
I have never ever ever visited a museum and have every docent, every guide, everyone I met — said this was planned, curated and organized — FOR YOU. FOR YOU! What can you say? How can you ever say thanks?
The Keeper of the Urspringen Jewish Legacy.
So as I mentioned, there was one older gentleman who was President of the society for years and years. Later, we were “sorta passed” lovingly to a woman… maybe early 40s. She was fantastic.
Pretty soon — it was obvious — that she was another “Martina”. (I love that I now use Martina as a noun — definition — the brightest lights — the one that lights the way.)
Christina (The Martina of Urspringen) took off where ____ left off. When I asked you, “Why are you doing this — she told me why…”
“Because I promised my grandfather…”
Christina’s grandfather had hidden a chest for dear Jewish friends of his… This was the chest the Jewish family would take to America — — “When the foolishness passed.”
Sadly, the chest was never picked up and is now the centerpiece of the synagogue and the museum. And Christina, does, as she promised her grandfather — she makes sure the Jewish people are always taken care.
The Torah!!
Christina’s grandfather, not ONLY had the chest, but as a carpenter, also created a fake floor in his home to hide the treasured Torah. This was an enormous risk! With the chest, the items “could” have been his. The Torah proved what he was doing and for whom.
The Torah survived — while we did not get to see it — it has been donated to a major Jewish museum in Würstberg.
Wurstberg (I have no idea how to spell it
We ended the evening with dinner, a stroll and of course, ice cream in Wurstburg. (The ice cream has been SO amazing — even if there has REALLY been too much of it — yeah, that’s possible.
). Everything was so picturesque. Just everything… in every possible way.
Wednesday, August 25
Okay. It proved very hard to keep up with journaling. I hope and pray that I will never ever ever forget this trip.
We are on a train to Berlin. This has proved very very challenging. We severely overpacked, don’t really wish to toss items, and yet it’s a burden.
ALL ABOARD….
The train ride — because of the luggage — and a transit strike — has proven challenging.
This AM — we also sadly said goodbye to Martina and Werner. So now we’re on our own.
Every step we have taken until this point was negotiated, scheduled and planned by Martina and Werner — so these hours are our very first on our own… and we knew it would not be easy (ugh — too much luggage!) is not helping.
We thought hard about just losing the Berlin bit. When we first scheduled the trip, this second week made all the sense in the world… (We came all this way, we were guests, shouldn’t we SEE something else?)
Yesterday, that all stopped making sense. The trip was — in every sense of the word — OUT OF THIS WORLD so why oh why should we continue on when there’s so much to be done at home.
Staying won out. (At this writing, I am feeling “unfortunately.”) But it did because we have all our flights, hotels and trains booked and to change it felt more challenging than just to do it as we had planned.
Even though the trains have been challenging (very) with cancellations and too many mixed connections to count… We are now (hopefully!) on our last train of the day — to Berlin… where our “pleasure” part of the trip will begin. For now, I just want to be free from luggage.